Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Fucking ups and downs.

   All the time.
   I cannot make up my mind about some people around me, all the time. One moment they seem to be fine, but then they come in contrast with some of my beliefs. And then, I have to re-think how important are these beliefs for me and how ready I do feel to make a huge change of my self - or a part of me- so I can keep up with them . Do I need them? In case I do, how much do I need them? And the most important part... Who?!


   I am searching for this glance that I got from somebody. It became staring at a part of our acquaintanceship- or I thought so- but for sure then it was a gaze to me. Not flirting I hope (still). But, who am I to decide this? Does he know?  Will he decide?
 
   If only they knew what I REALLY need. If only....

I am disappointed, aren't I?

  I am  also fed up with screaming for positive emotions. Fed up with asking for companionship; always misconceived. Always.

Oh I know! I think to much during the fun.
But how to turn it off?

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