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Thursday, January 31, 2019

Case dismissed

I tried and it failed.
Multiple times.

It was that first girl I forgave and I ignored her behaviour several times, but I kept being attached with her. The excuse? "We are both young. She will grow up and she will understand."
It never happened though. However, I got some feedback from life several years after. Her, almost a prostitute, me, still attached to my morals.
Case dismissed.

Then there was this boy. His case goes on for years. My feelings kept changing according to his behaviour. "Why am I not fully accepted/ loved?" I had been wondering. And answers wouldn 't come. The excuse? " I am doing something wrong". Definitely: paying attention it is called. But time's a bitch and now even though still in contact my feelings have been stabilized- distant.
Case dismissed.

Also, there was this other girl. Her case lasted also a couple of -many- years. I was a toy to her. She was there only when she needed me. She would dictate over me and when I pointed it out, she was very surprized. The excuse? "Distance or problem of me expressing myself". Fuck these shit.
Case dismissed.

There has been another case with another boy recently, however. This lasted the least. Maybe I am learning or maybe he is paying for other peoples' bullshit. I tried to advice him, I laughed when he hurt me multiple times and I even accepted him back a couple of times. The excuse? "Different idiosyncrasy".  Oh fuck me.
Case dismissed.

Before the previous boy, there was another guy, to whom I wanted to give the whole world. And he promised he would do the same. It kept going, it became a relationship and there were plans ahead. The problem? I was planning alone. The excuse? "Not feasible/ different way of seeing the world". Bitch please, who's laughing now? I did it.
Case dismissed with a loud applause.


The conclusion is that I might be learning from  what's going on around me. However I don't stop making or even repeating the same mistakes.
But now, when the case is dismissed, there is no way of returning or even looking back.
With one exception, because all rules need an exception in order to be validated:

This other guy that spent many years next to me. We were friends. There was trust. There were ups and downs as in every single story. I had created memories, which I still cherish. But unfortunately he swapped teams/ left me over a -what I would call- silly matter. Nevermind, I still think of our memories Mister.

"Lorelei- Scorptions"

And for all the people mentioned above, since they are real people - no names mentioned though- if in any case you identify yourself in any of these lines... Bear in mind that I wish well for all of you.

But do me this favour and stay away from my life.

I got enough lessons in order to know that people are untrustworthy and that I shall be very -more- careful. I really don't need something further. Your duties are over and my feelings kinda empty.

Here: "Μαζεύω τα κομμάτια σου - Σταμάτης Γονίδης" - dedicated to me and the pieces that are left.

Soon I 'll be reborn- Once again. But this time, I won't come from zero.

Beware of people who died of somebody's poison as they can afterwards be reborn very VERY venomous themselves.

Monday, January 28, 2019

In short

Αν αναρωτιεσαι πού είμαι αγαπημένε αναγνώστη, να σου πω.

Έχω χαθεί πίσω από μαθήματα τάνγκο, ιταλικών και συνεχούς αυστηρής εκπαίδευσης.

Προηγήθηκαν μερικές εκδρομές και αναμένονται επισκέψεις.

Νέα υπάρχουν πολλά άλλα όχι ιδιαίτερη όρεξη για να τα γράψω.


I only want to say that when your best friend becomes your man, then there is nothing to fear...