I remember those black shoes I had with the pink stripe. One stripe only to make them look feminine. Other than that, they were completely boy-ish. Though, I had asked my mom to buy them for me, because they were so nice (and probably comfortable). Even though nowadays I don't remember at all how they felt like, I still remember how they made me feel like: confident.
It was only a pair of casual shoes. This type for skating... They were a famous brand I remember and they lasted quite long. But even after they were causing me some dis-comfort, I still kept them, without wearing them.Just for the sake of looking at them.
I also have a ring. That ring makes me feel powerfull. Not with flying abilities or invisibility, but it gives me confidence. It makes me also feel secure. And that's because it reminds me -in my mind- how special I am.
I have a pair of jeans. They are gray. Like that pair of jeans I had and I kept wearing since my teenage years. They lasted about a decade. Not branded.
I had to change my glasses frame, so I searched for the exact same I had the last couple of years. I couldn't find it, so I had to move on. I denied, so I fixed a new pair along with my old one. "Just in case", I kept telling myself. They are not forgotten, just left aside for a while.
I went for a short holiday in the town I did my Erasmus => The known place. The security. The memories. The confidence.
Whatever I do, I try to revive my past. Usually it reflects my teenagehood, but sometimes it can be also something just a bit older.
I do have a dark era as well though. Somewhere from 2012 to the beginning of 2017. When I lost my brother. When I experienced the pain of my mom battling with leukemia. When I was unable and not allowed to grow up, however was given vast adult responsibilities. When I had to change country in order to be myself. When I kept changing friends, because nobody suited me.
The time before my freedom.
In fact, I am still going mentally back to the period when I was exploring the world. When I was learning. When I was getting hurt, but I kept fighting. Now, I get hurt, but it makes me more indifferent.
At least, there is always a way of hidding in my past for a while, in order to re-charge and... attack.
It was only a pair of casual shoes. This type for skating... They were a famous brand I remember and they lasted quite long. But even after they were causing me some dis-comfort, I still kept them, without wearing them.Just for the sake of looking at them.
I also have a ring. That ring makes me feel powerfull. Not with flying abilities or invisibility, but it gives me confidence. It makes me also feel secure. And that's because it reminds me -in my mind- how special I am.
I have a pair of jeans. They are gray. Like that pair of jeans I had and I kept wearing since my teenage years. They lasted about a decade. Not branded.
I had to change my glasses frame, so I searched for the exact same I had the last couple of years. I couldn't find it, so I had to move on. I denied, so I fixed a new pair along with my old one. "Just in case", I kept telling myself. They are not forgotten, just left aside for a while.
I went for a short holiday in the town I did my Erasmus => The known place. The security. The memories. The confidence.
Whatever I do, I try to revive my past. Usually it reflects my teenagehood, but sometimes it can be also something just a bit older.
I do have a dark era as well though. Somewhere from 2012 to the beginning of 2017. When I lost my brother. When I experienced the pain of my mom battling with leukemia. When I was unable and not allowed to grow up, however was given vast adult responsibilities. When I had to change country in order to be myself. When I kept changing friends, because nobody suited me.
The time before my freedom.
In fact, I am still going mentally back to the period when I was exploring the world. When I was learning. When I was getting hurt, but I kept fighting. Now, I get hurt, but it makes me more indifferent.
At least, there is always a way of hidding in my past for a while, in order to re-charge and... attack.
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