I am thinking very seriously of making an appointment with a psychologist. I m not feeling very well these days. I thing of my brother almost every day. And then, I cry. Sometimes I cry a lot. Simultaneously, I feel broken inside. Something screams loudly, but I cannot.
I want to hide from everyone around me. I want to close the door, my heart, my ears and sleep. Sleep for hours, days, weeks. I want to rest my body, my soul.
Nobody can help me.
I do not eat properly. I do not have the appetite. Nobody can give me a hand or even a good time.
I m getting lost into some songs. But I still cry still feel broken, still be in pain.
I cry, so my eyes are red. My excuse is that I am tired. Of what? Doesn't matter. I just do not want to admit once more that I still feel down.
Then, everything seems darker again. I reveal nothing, keep everything. My life is a mess. I feel helpless.
I need love in my life. I want to feel passion. A reason to live, to fly. I need to have the maximum of everything. I need something to shake me. To take me in its arms and wake me up.
I can't get over it. I can feel the terror soaring around me, laughing evilly, rubbing his hands...
And I, am standing here, trembling, fearing everything.
What is death? Where is he?
I want my brother back. For a moment. I want to hug him, look in his eyes and even fight with him one more time. It s never enough.
But I hadn't touch him for a long time before he died. I hadn't speak to him. I was far away. He had his life. Different things to do. A daughter.
Now he has nothing. Not even his life.
And I don't have him.
But somebody just told me that he is here, near me. Like everyone who have left that world. Maybe I ll talk to him sometime.
I want to hide from everyone around me. I want to close the door, my heart, my ears and sleep. Sleep for hours, days, weeks. I want to rest my body, my soul.
Nobody can help me.
I do not eat properly. I do not have the appetite. Nobody can give me a hand or even a good time.
I m getting lost into some songs. But I still cry still feel broken, still be in pain.
I cry, so my eyes are red. My excuse is that I am tired. Of what? Doesn't matter. I just do not want to admit once more that I still feel down.
Then, everything seems darker again. I reveal nothing, keep everything. My life is a mess. I feel helpless.
I need love in my life. I want to feel passion. A reason to live, to fly. I need to have the maximum of everything. I need something to shake me. To take me in its arms and wake me up.
I can't get over it. I can feel the terror soaring around me, laughing evilly, rubbing his hands...
And I, am standing here, trembling, fearing everything.
What is death? Where is he?
I want my brother back. For a moment. I want to hug him, look in his eyes and even fight with him one more time. It s never enough.
But I hadn't touch him for a long time before he died. I hadn't speak to him. I was far away. He had his life. Different things to do. A daughter.
Now he has nothing. Not even his life.
And I don't have him.
But somebody just told me that he is here, near me. Like everyone who have left that world. Maybe I ll talk to him sometime.