A night for cocktails.
Uncountable number of them. Why not, I mean.
A night, in which you confess deep thoughts.
A night in which you get to know another person.
"There should be a reason and you should know". That's what she said.
What if I really shouldn't know?
What if it is not the right time to know?
Or what if I... just don't want to know?
Is life a tango dance?
A glance to an unknown person, for a while... An instant spark, which can last three or four minutes.
Or a lust for the other person's moves
(which by the way can spoil relationships, generally speaking) ...
A never-ending chase of partner.
That one. The one.
The leader who is simultaneously a follower. The person who can listen to your mood, your ideas, your everything. But also, will let you hear their own love, passion, needs...
How complicated simple is life eventually.
One moment you -think you- have everything, and the next moment you crave something (or for those who dare... someone) new.
Life is this path of exploration I have rationally chosen. Even though some people have disagreed on that.
Now, those people are out of my life and I will not spare removing any other sound so unfamiliar to me, ever again.
I am strong, after being so weak in other peoples' "arms" (not literally). Those people are not even worth a word from me anymore. And believe me... I m not speaking about boyfriends -only.
There are TWO people who altered my life forever and a joker who thankfully enough, is there to give me a hand (or...two).
One person, is a woman. Apart from the one who gave birth to me (ok, that's a fact), there is another one who played a particular role in how I see the world. Well... FUCK HER. I actually thought about it again and again and I might need to thank her. For cleaning some... dirt out of my life. But ok, she doesn't deserve more lines spend on her.
The second person is a guy.
A person who saw me getting destroyed, burned and almost losing my life. A person who listens to every bullshit I need to tell. He is not my boyfriend though, don't get confused. There is a huge difference of him and some boyfriends I ve had (ok, maybe all). He listens. Everything. Patiently.
Αnd not only that, but he seeks for feasible solutions. Words that won't only soothen my heart, but help me get out of my shit-hole.
That person is Sudeep.
[I know I always change the names and this may cause you thing I break the rules of "no real names posted" but first of all this is something positive and second this is my blog and the rules are mine. (I have never wrote down this rule, right?)]
The joker is Kiki. Or actually, as she was self-introduced to the Indian-restaurant owner: Kyriaki.
[Darling, he had a difficult time pronouncing your name, why didn't you shorten it up a bit?? LOL ].
Those letters, with the actual meaning of the word "letter" have make me see the world brighter, philosophical and from a deep aspect (helloooooooooo, is anybody theeeeeeere???). Very important written documentation has proved to be life-saving and self-developing material.
Thank you to both.
Along with Nikos (that's another joker, but I l keep him hidden for now), you fall in place in order to formulate my personal puzzle of ... close people. [Yes, the one I had been complaining about for soooooo many years, while being ignorant. Not on purpose though].
Now, I need to go but I will return shortly with new thought- provoking (or even provoked) material.
Ναι, κυρίες και κύριοι, με αυτήν ακριβώς τη φράση, γνώρισα δύο Έλληνες (ο ένας μάλιστα από τη Θεσσαλονίκη). Κανονικά, θα έπαιρνα το δίσκο μου και θα έστριβα, αλλά κοίτα να δεις... Έκατσα! Και κατά πως φαίνεται θα τους ξαναδω, αφού δουλεύουν στο δίπλα κτήριο και κρατήσαμε επαφές...
Το τραγικό της υπόθεσης είναι που ζορίζομαι να μιλήσω. Ενίοτε μου λείπουν κάποιες λέξεις...
Last night I decided it was high time I went somewhere. Of course I don't know people yet (apart from some colleagues, but we will come back to them in another post) and that makes the situation a little bit more tricky, since my buddy is in India. For almost a month. Really Sudeep?Well, ok, I will explore EVERYTHING alone.
Ok, I m joking. That's impossible anyway. Prague is... huge!
And so is the park/forest/i-still-have-no-idea-what-this-huge-area-is behind our house. I will go once, but pray for the wolves. I might be toxic for them.
So, as I was saying I received a message from a friend who came to Prague from Liberec. Well, "surprise?" I might have said to myself and I had a quick shower.
I needed an hour to get to the place, catching like some of the last trams. Of course I went in the wrong direction at first (it was funny for me, cause I was somehow returning in my home area, risking my night out because I have no clue about the night transportation!).
Eventually I arrived, safe and beautiful. Yes, I needed to say the last statement [haha].
It was a ...milonga!!
I met people who I already knew and that was a bit of relief, but I also met new people. I danced my tantas and I was full of enthusiasm, again!
For sure I have become better, since there was a "demand" from their side to dance with me. But, hell no, I am not a professional [yet. Cause you never know life -I grin-].
After those 4 books I 've read in the last week (stay without internet and suddenly you 'll find a helluva lot of time), I think I reconsidered some aspects in my life, particularly the "dating" section and the "we might die today". Gosh, what type of romance have I been reading eventually? Lol.
Anyways, I wanted to mention that my first official night out (common I 've been for pizza already, but very close to my house, so I don't count that much) was successful. Of course it would have been. I have nothing to fear...
Since I moved and I didn't have internet for a few days (only because I didn't have time to visit a shop, otherwise once I visited the company, I got it within an hour, not like in Greece, that you get it after a month!), I had the chance, thanks to Scribd, to read a few books. Well, the story goes like this: At first I got the offer for one free month of reading and I really wanted to read one book that I could find only there and nowhere else online (you possibly know my librarian/retrieving-from -the -internet skills, so yes, i dug up everything, but without results). So, I gave the details of my card -obligatory step of course- with the thought that "I m gonna cancel it after I finish the book, not a big deal".
Obviously this part never happened. Because I got wrapped up with all the previous good news and as a result I forgot it (now I can say "Thank God"). Anyways, I got charged for the current month- it's not very expensive thankfully- so I thought of taking this opportunity and read few books, of those for passing your time easily (I am -too obviously- taking a break from crime novels for a while, after all this knowledge coming from and going to my thesis).
Let me remind you that simultaneously I have started my new job. That means that I meet new people constantly. And - oboy- I have so many moments as If I am the main character of those books. Or some movies.
Yes, imagine me as Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie "I Don't Know How She Does It" and a lot more or as my beloved Jennifer Aniston in many movies casually hurries to the office (guess who was almost late two days ago! Hups).
And definitely not only those moments. I got you another example of -amazing- Sandra Bullock in the "Proposal". 😁😆
Would anyone be interested in me writing stuff that happen to me while at work? I don't mean gossip, but just some funny representation of the reality somehow. if yes, how about the title above this post? Otherwise you may suggest anything of your own. I know some of you like the way I write
Κάποια απο τις επόμενες μέρες η Άννα δέχθηκε τηλεφώνημα απο τον Αλέξανδρο για να συναντηθούν για ένα καφέ. Ένα απειρο-ελάχιστο συναίσθημα ντροπής τον ενοχλούσε κάπου στην άκρη του μυαλού του και ήθελε να το διευθετήσει και να δει αν υπήρχε ακόμα κάποια ευκαιρία για αυτόν και την Άννα. Συναντήθηκαν, λοιπόν, σε κεντρικό καφέ της πόλης. Ο ήλιος έλαμπε, όπως και τα μάτια της.
Η Άννα φτάνει στο καφέ παρέα με την Λίζα, αφού είχαν βρεθεί λίγο νωρίτερα για κάποια ψώνια, συζητώντας τα νεότερα γεγονότα που έχουν προκύψει σχετικά με την Κάτια. Όπως το είχαν υποπτευθεί, τα ραντεβού με τον Άκη βαίνουν καλώς και η Κάτια φαίνεται ικανοποιημένη και ερωτευμένη μετά απο καιρό. Γι αυτόν ακριβώς το λόγο η Άννα χαίρεται για τη φίλη της και τα μάτια της λαμπιρίζουν πονηρά. Η Λίζα αποχαιρετά την Άννα πριν φτάσει ο Αλέξανδρος. Λίγο πριν σερβιριστεί ο καφές της, έρχεται κι εκείνος χαρούμενος.
- Αννούλα; χαμογελάει διάπλατα κι εκείνη σηκώνεται για να τον χαιρετίσει.
- Γεια σου Αλέξανδρε! του λέει και τον αγκαλιάζει θερμά. Πώς είσαι;
- Ικανοποιημένος που σε βλέπω, της απαντάει κάνοντας την επίθεσή του ως κυνηγός. Εκείνη, όμως ξεφεύγει απαντώντας:
- Ε, αφού είσαι ικανοποιημένος μόνο που με βλέπεις , τότε μια χαρά.
- Τι εννοείς; κάνει απορημένος, ενώ ψάχνει μια καλή φράση για να γυρίσει το παιχνίδι.
- Τίποτα. Τι θα πάρεις; Περιμένει η κοπέλα, του λέει χαμογελαστά.
- Α ναι, ενα φρεντο σκέτο παρακαλώ, λέει στη σερβιτόρα κι επιστρέφει το βλέμμα του στην Άννα. Άργησα;
- Όχι, ήμουν εδώ γύρω με μια φίλη, μην ανησυχείς, του χαμογελά.
- Δεν ανησυχώ γι αυτό, συνοφρυόνεται.
- Τότε; Απορεί εκείνη.
- Κοίτα Άννα, ήθελα να είμαι βέβαιος ότι δεν είσαι θυμωμένη μαζί μου. Ξέρεις, για το βράδυ της εξόδου μας. Πέρασα πολύ ωραία πρέπει να ξέρεις.
- Εντάξει, ότι έγινε έγινε, δε χρειάζεται να σε ανησυχεί αυτό. Δεν έκανες κάτι για το οποίο θα πρέπει να ντρέπεσαι. Απλώς κι εγώ ίσως να μην ήμουν τελείως ξεκάθαρη, του απαντά σκεπτική.
Ξεκάθαρη ως προς τι; αναρωτιέται. Να του μιλήσει για τον Αλκιβιάδη ή να το αποκρύψει τελείως; Αξίζει αναφοράς;
- Θέλεις να μου εξηγήσεις καλύτερα τι εννοείς; της κρατά το χέρι κοιτάζοντάς τη στα μάτια.
- Ε... αναφωνεί ανύμπορη να αποφασίσει.
Ο Αλέξανδρος επιμένει να την κοιτάζει στα μάτια περιμένωντας μια απάντηση, με ενα μειδίαμα. Κι η τύχη παράλληλα παίζει τα παιχνίδια της οπότε η Άννα βλέπει τον Αλκιβιάδη στο μπαρ να περιμένει τον καφέ του. Ακριβώς εκείνη τη στιγμή στρέφει το κεφάλι του προς το μέρος της και του χρειάζονται δύο δευτερόλεπτα για να συνειδητοποιήσει οτι είναι εκείνη. Το ίδιο παθαίνει κι αυτή, που δεν ξέρει πως να αντιδράσει ακριβώς. Του χαμογελά συγκρατημένα, σαν να τον χαιρετά και το ίδιο κάνει κι εκείνος. Στρέφουν και οι δύο τα βλέμματα αλλού και η Άννα αποφασίζει αστραπιαία τι θα απαντήσει στον Αλέξανδρο:
- Άσ'το μωρε, δεν ήταν κάτι σημαντικό. Απλώς είχα πολλά στο κεφάλι μου λόγω δουλειάς για λίγο.
Εκείνος της χαμογελά και της φιλά το χέρι. Η Άννα δεν αλλάζει έκφραση, όμως ο Αλκιβιάδης έχει γίνει μάρτυρας της σκηνής. Ενοχλημένος καθώς είναι, πληρώνει και φεύγει.
- Έχω ενδιαφέρον για σένα, λέει απαλά ο Αλέξανδρος γεμάτος χαμόγελο.
Η Άννα κοκκινίζει λίγο και μαζεύει το χέρι της.
- Μίλησέ μου για τη μέρα σου, τον προστάζει κι αλλάζουν θέμα.
There are some annoying dreams, in which you appear.
And along with you, the possibilities appear as well.
Things that were meant to happen, meant to be said, meant to be meant eventually.
I know these silly games, but I deny my participation.
And the more I deny it the more you are there.
You know what I believe in, somehow? Here, i m saying it:
And I 've read an interesting book lately. "Maybe in another life", by Taylor Jenkins Reid.
Yes, maybe in another life. Or maybe in dreams. But thank God I wake up afterwards.
In one of the recent dreams, you were there though, looking at me straight in the eye. You were so proud of me. You said you had been searching for me and you could reach me only after my fame had risen. You were clear on that. You simply did not want to disturb my way to success.
Your eyes were sparkling more than ever! You had the particular smile of Gioconda with which I still remember you vividly.
I saw you there, one more and possibly a last time.
You had your wife in your arms. You were holding her tightly as in those photos stored in my external hard drive.
One photo taken in front of the emblem of the city in which I was born in. Cannot call it "my city". I do not belong there any more and I never did. But If you are wondering, I don't hate it exactly. I just had enough. But yes, for holidays, you better spend like 5 days there.
But coming back to what I was telling you, you were there together.
It's funny how much I owe to people who do not play anymore active roles in the scenario of my life. It seems as if they served a particular reason for meeting me.
Back to the dreams now, I am glad I was involved with psychology books. I know exactly what most of them mean. The problem is that I deny it. Never mind.
I finally have the best reasons for my so-long absence from my writing habits. Well, I am sooooooooo excited that I don't even know where to start!
I think it is better to take it slowly by giving you the main idea and then filling up the details. I have had a crazy time and it doesn't even matter since when this started, because time is in my side from now on.
So, hold yourselves, I am starting.
You all knew I was about to defend my thesis. I did. So:
I AM A GRADUATE NOW!
And you know, I have done the impossible. See below.
I HAVE A JOB!
Oh, wait. That' s... not the truth.
I HAVE A DREAM JOB!!
Before even graduating, I got the offer. Who does that?? And this is not a job of whatever. This is a career opportunity.
So, this had a consequence:
I MOVED TO PRAGUE!
Yes, me. I did it. And it seems to be one of the best decisions I have ever taken!!
I have no idea which of the above is the best thing that I have done so far. I wrote the stuff in the order they happened. Within like 10 days probably.
I went already to my new job and oh god, I have so many stuff to tell you.
Let me get a sip of my cold Únětické beer of 12°...
Oh lovely spirits, it's Saturday and I am enjoying an amazing day today!...
Well, I got so many compliments simultaneously from people during the last period, that I started feeling embarrassed (almost).
I 've got comments about how smart I am on my first training day. Kinda cool I suppose!! The funny thing is that they really meant it. And it is such a great thing to know...
I have just started A CAREER!! I so like the idea.
I don't want to reveal for whom I work and what I do. Let's not shock some people... But for sure my life has changed and I am expecting it to change even more. In a positive way!
I have achieved my teenager dreams. All, one by one. On my own (as much as someone can be alone). I can see a successful person in me and this feeling is pretty damn good! Now, in some time, I will move on to my next goal . Because life without goals, can make you a couch potato. And I am not this kind of person.
Knowledge is around me all over... such as pleasure. And a -finally- calm heart.
"FINALLY" is the word I keep saying to myself every day. And maybe even several times per day.
I have a flat, which looks like I chose to move to Amsterdam and it is just renovated. The neighborhood is quiet and simultaneously amazing. My office, is not very far and it is located opposite of a big mall and right next to a metro station. I mean... what else would I ask for!!?
I left behind me the dull, depressing Thessaloniki, with all of the complaining part. I also left there my previous self. Now, thanks to many people, I have found who I am and what I want to do in my life.
I am finally satisfied!!
In January, I have said that this year was going to be different, amazing and full of surprises. I was correct. Good feelings kept coming one after the other and every time I was correct. Now, I am about to stabilize myself, but really I don't care any more so much about this part. I just know it is gonna happen.
I have wasted a lot of time on wrong people. But this doesn't mean that I will not make any mistakes from now on. It is just so obvious that I have grown up. A LOT.
I am just able to do.... EVERYTHING I WANT.
The smile is on my face 24/7. And you know... I look so beautiful with it.
Oh, by the way, in the company I work, there is a dress code: smart casual.
I never looked more professional, more beautiful, more successful.
I am everything I want. I am Anna.
Another hit happened when I invited the author that my thesis was about (Petros Martinidis). Unfortunately for him, his car had broken down. So, he received my thesis by mail.
And one of the following mornings i received an answer from him. Something I never expected particularly from him. He was sincerely congratulating me for my job, the way I approached the issue and how amazing I analyzed everything. He regretted not taking a taxi to be there in the defense. THAT WAS SUCH A COMPLIMENT!!
I thought he would be strict or he would have told be "you could have done better". He is a high class person, by the meaning of knowledge. I admire him a lot. And he gave me such a feedback. I had goosebumps. I felt honored.
People commenting on me, my possibilities and how proud they feel about me. One after the other.
It was the first time in my life I 've heard something coming from my father.
He said that I achieved stuff that males cannot.
Yes, I can.
I have a word, and once I say it I keep it. No matter what.
The last days I keep celebrating one thing after the other, including the graduation of my very best friend: Sudeep. In the beginning I celebrated my coming back to Greece, then my own graduation (no, don't expect me to go to my graduation, on please), then simultaneously the amazing job offer, then Sudeep's graduation, then the moving and oh my, i still have a lot more!!
But now it is time to leave.
And since it is getting late and I want to dive into knowledge, I m gonna leave you with some songs. Greek of course.
And one song I keep singing for I don't know how long now: